I've Screwed Up
by Cpt. Ritter
Summary: He'll never forgive himself if they can't save her. Spoilers for Michael.


_A/N: I pulled a lot of Sheppard's thoughts from The Puppeteer's tag for this same episode. I have also taken some creative liberties with regards to the episode, so don't murder me._

You know, I'm an idiot. I let my guard down. Why in god's name did I do that? Now Teyla's been captured by Michael and I don't have a chance in hell of reaching her in time, much less finding them when all we've got are Ronon's tracking skills.

Then I realize that I've been a bigger idiot that normal. Lying before us on the ground, dead, are the two marines I left to guard the gate. The same marines who should've been with Teyla... hell, I should've been with her in that room with Michael.

Somehow he escaped. I still don't know how, but I should've had guards in the room. Teyla's worth a hundred of them but I can't help but worry about her wraith mental abilities. They must be the reason he got out. There's no other explanation.

Silent communication is something Ronon and I are good at when Teyla's in trouble. We're both running to the gate. I can only pray we arrive before Michael can escape. We've got a small chance, a narrow window, that Michael doesn't know where to go, and that Teyla's slowing him down.

With Ronon and me, there's none of that. I now know how and why Teyla can run like she does-determination. Pure, plain, and simple. She wouldn't be distracted by anything. She'd let her entire body focus on running, and right now that's me, because I've gotta get her out of the mess I put her in.

It was my fault she spent so much time with Michael. I wanted her to do it because I felt it minimized the risk to Atlantis. Frack Atlantis, I just want Teyla to be safe. She put her trust in me. I promised I'd keep an eye on her and on Atlantis I did, but not here. Here I relaxed because Elizabeth finally agreed to do things my way.

We round the corner and Michael walks through the gate, dragging Teyla along behind him. If it's even possible for me to run faster, I do, but to no avail, the gate shuts down and I scream. "Damn it!"

I quick run to the DHD. "We to get McKay out here. I need the last address dialed by the gate!"

Ronon picks up a piece of rock. "No we don't."

Then I realize what he's looking at and can't help but smile. Teyla left us the address he dialed, sketched poorly, but still legibly, onto the small rock slab. I quickly read it as Ronon's holding it and punch the symbols in. The gate fails to activate. "Damn it, she must've missed one!" We were so close, so very close.

"Wait." Ronon replies. He flips it upside down. "She had her hands tied behind her back..."

"So it'd be upside down and backwards!" I yelled excitedly, already way ahead of even my own mind, imputing the symbols by automation.

The gate opens right on cue and Ronon and I are already running through it. He stops on the other side, leaning close to the ground for the tracks. This planet makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on edge. Something just doesn't feel right, something just beyond my comprehension. I'd call it my sixth sense if I didn't know better.

Ronon takes off and I'm right behind him. God knows how we're going to make it in time. Ever second that we wait is another second Teyla is in his monstrous hands. Frack my orders, I'm shooting Michael the first time I see him, no questions about it. That is if Ronon doesn't beat me to it. I've got my P90 in one hand, my pistol in the other.

From the start this seemed like a decent idea, not a great plan or execution of said plan, but a decent idea. Now all I need to do is get us out of the hole we dug ourself. If Michael gets back to the wraith, then we'll be exposed. It was a mistake to bring him back to Atlantis; it was a mistake to bring him to the Alpha site; hell, it was a mistake to bring him back at all. I should've just shot him like every other wraith we killed in the mission.

Ronon stops, his breathing labored. For my part, I don't even notice that I'm breathing heavily, or the fire that's burning in my legs. It doesn't matter. "Which way buddy?"

Ronon seems confused. "There's lots of tracks, very difficult to follow." He scans them.

I don't bother him. Every second we wait, is a second that we risk loosing Teyla. That's something I won't let happen. I quickly look at the tracks myself, then I spot it, glittering from the light of my flashlight. Teyla's necklace, the thing I affectionately call a toe-nail clipper.

I grab it as Ronon realized which way they went and we both take off. The adrenaline runs fresh through my veins, further distancing me from the pain in my legs and the raggedness of my breath. I spit a wad of mucus from my mouth and onto the ground without thinking about it, and then I see him.

Michael's arm is stretched and about to ram itself into Teyla. Without thinking I raise my pistol and fire twice. I hit him at least once and he spun out of the way. Ronon and I skid to a stop. "Thank god." I mutter to myself, handing Teyla my pistol.

Our eyes meet for less than a second, but it says all that needs to be said. The best way to describe what happened next was run for our lives. Wraith began pouring out of the woodwork, to an extent in which I was hard pressed to keep them at bay.

Fortunately, they seem more interested in Michael than us. Ronon gets a bunch, I take a handful down with my P90, Teyla scores a kill or two before she's out of ammo. I toss her my extra clip and continue running, occasionally firing behind me to discourage the wraith from following.

Teyla's memory is good as we reach the Stargate. She instantly dials the Alpha Site and we run through. We all turn as the Stargate mercifully shuts down. I finally allow myself to relax, slightly. I collapse to the ground, the pain finally consuming me. I just don't have Ronon's endurance.

"John?" Teyla says, the concern just beneath her voice.

I grunt in pain, sucking in the air to try and alleviate the pain. "This is why I can't keep up with Ronon normally." I say with the most sarcasm I can muster.

Ronon laughs, and then Teyla laughs, both of them realizing that I just made a joke. There's only one way to describe the relationship between the three of us, a bond. We've all bonded in a way that no one else can understand. We're different, but I think that's a good thing. Just seeing them laugh, especially Teyla, allows me to finally laugh too.

XXX

Well, I asked for it. Somewhere along Ronon and my long chase after Michael I sprained my ankle, and then I kept running on it. Now it really hurts to walk and I'm off the active duty list for a week. After out recent excitement, I don't think I want off-world duty.

I walk into the training room to find it deserted. For now, that's fine by me. I'm still beating myself up over getting Teyla into that situation. That and getting Atlantis in the position it's in. The wraith are going to return, and this time cloaking the city won't fool them. I grab a pair of boxing gloves and take out my frustrations on the nearest punching bag.

The Daedalus keeps dropping off more and more supplies. Atlantis literally has all the comforts of home and the garrison has grown to the point in which I don't know everyone by name. It doesn't really bother me, but it just feels strange.

"That's for being a screw up." I mutter to myself, slamming my fist into the bag. I feel the impact up my arm, and I want it. It's something to ground me to reality, prevent me from working too hard.

"Like hell." I continue my systematic, if a bit stationary, punching. Finally, I forget the sprained ankle, I need the activity. I easily slide into the work out routine, steadily moving around the bag while punching it.

The activity brings me back to all that happened. I'm no hero, as much as I try to be. I silently made a pledge to support Elizabeth on her decisions ever since my decision nearly infected the whole city with that damn nanovirus. I should've disagreed visibly sooner, not gone along with it.

"That's for Teyla." I say, hitting the bad with my hardest hit yet.

"John." Teyla's voice draws me out of my blind fury and all the energy leaves me. That, and the pain suddenly shoots through my leg. I bite down on my lip and gently lower myself to the comfortable training mat, taking all the strain off my ankle.

"You should not be training." She says. It's a subtle reminder that Carson wouldn't approve.

"I'll be fine." I reply, standing back up and sitting on the windowsill.

She nods and doesn't push the point. "What was for me?" She said, quoting what I'd said earlier.

I lean back and face her. "How'd everything get so out of control?" I said, mainly thinking aloud. "How'd I let my guard down?"

"Are you blaming yourself for Michael's escape?" Teyla said, it was more of a statement than a question. She quietly takes a seat opposite me on the windowsill, our legs mere inches apart.

"I should've had two guards in the room at all times. Yet, being an idiot, I let you go in there alone." I took a deep breath.

"I do not think it would've made any difference." Teyla replied to my statement.

"How close was he?" I ask. I have to know.

"Any later and I would have been dead." Her response is quick and quiet, not missing a beat.

"Then we barely made it, if I hadn't seen your necklace..." I trail off, the reality and enormity of it kicking in. I nearly lost her. Too much of that has been happening recently. I care for her more than she knows, more than I know. "Sorry I was late." I say with a slight smile.

"Better late than never." She replies, smiling genuinely for the first time since we brought Michael back to Atlantis.

"You have been hanging around McKay too often." I shake my head, clearing the smile from my face. "Let's not go through that again." I say quietly.

"I think that would be for the best."

_A/N: Hey, not even horribly shippy, I think this is a record for me!_


End file.
